A dear male friend is experiencing some deep suffering. Often at times, I’m at a loss for words, but he finds comfort in my listening. In a quest for some reinforcing passages and daily mindful reminders, I revisited The Hidden Spirituality of Men by Matthew Fox for guidance and found this:
Having learned to let go, the warrior does not harbor resentments or become motivated by revenge to chase after others. Forgiveness, another word for letting go, is learned drip by drip, day by day, not as an act of altruism but as a necessary cleansing of the past, a purification of our souls so we can live and function effectively in the now. The soul does not grow into its potential fullness when it harbors past hurt and turns it over and over. This is the way to grow bitterness, not soul. The warrior is committed to growing the heart and soul, not freezing it in the puny size it was yesterday or in years past. Here too discipline is needed, even sacrifice, when offering a burnt soul, a soul burnt by the betrayal of life, whether self-induced or not. The warrior learns to live beyond betrayal, neither denying it nor dwelling on it. Beyond betrayal. Beyond the pain of broken love and bleeding relationships and misunderstood communications and unfulfilled yearnings. The warrior has undergone the deep purification of longing that is the lesson learned in the schoolhouse the mystics call the dark night of the soul. He or she does not run from the darkness, but enters it, overcoming the fear of the dark as well as the fear of the light.
Universally powerful, isn’t it?
May all beings find forgiveness.